Forgetting you

I could write to you and tell you that I feel nothing, that every day a little more  I’ve forgotten you. but this thing bumps into my chest and head. I even wanted to, but I can’t. It is just not something that we decide, that we say “that’s it” and we suddenly forget. It is something that, the more we try, the more we insist, the more we try to forget, we remember. Remember because there is always a song, a restaurant, a detail in every corner of the world that reminds us who we most want to forget.

Forgetting seems to me too strong of a word, especially because there is affection and desire to be together. After the effect of anger passed I lost all the certainty that all I wanted was to get you out of my mind. Maybe that’s what I really need, but I don’t want to, and since then all I do is put some of you into my routine. I turn on the shower, lie in bed while I listen to the water, imagining that you will dry yourself and throw yourself at me.

Miss… why don’t you get out of my mind and go for a walk somewhere else?

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