To whom…

I could start this text by quoting names, but I will not do that. I don’t want to remember every person who left my life claiming to be doing me a favor, or the dozens others that left me behind. I suffered a lot and that meant losing so many parts of who I was.

I don’t want it to look like I’ve never done wrong with anyone at all. I was a bastard too, I played with some people, and I already made mistakes with some people that didn’t deserve. But look, if I told you the number of times people ever messed with me, you would find the attitudes I had in the past almost invisible. Maybe I’m just a victim of that old story that we get double the evil you do to others. But in my case, it was much more than that. It was five, six, seven times more than I deserved.

Many people promised me a future, many people lied looking into my eyes, many people made plans with me for the next month, knowing they would not be with me the next week. And I’ve always believed in them. Even when love tried to escape through the faintest bit of reality, there I was to believe that it would be possible to build something from there. And then when those people were leaving, I would shatter to the point that I would never be able to move on again.

So today I write this text in a tone of thanks. I feel that I must apologize for thinking I could never be whole again. And that leaves me with an obligation to thank all those who stayed behind. because now, far away, I realize that it was never my place there.

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